beloved
by TheSixthStar
Summary: From the first time he saw the boy, gliding effortlessly through the sky with his 3D maneuver gear - beautiful - was the first word that came to mind. / Set after chapter 50 - as Erwin feels himself slip into unconsciousness, he tries to remember the better times he had spent with the Corporal he had so loved.


**beloved.**

愛するあなたへ

_I am glad I met you._

There were still so many words left unspoken. And _oh_, what Erwin would give to see Levi again, just to utter these words to him. It was by coincidence that they had met that fateful day, and at first contact he just knew - Levi was the missing piece in his life. From the first time he saw him, gliding effortlessly through the sky with the 3D maneuver gear - _beautiful_ - was the first word that came to mind. Everyone else thought he had gone insane, the busied Commander Erwin, getting caught up with the infamous thief that had been causing a sizable amount of trouble in the city.

His faithful stallion rode on, and he tried, at the very least, to ignore the pulsating pain in his arm.

_I am glad I found you._

The day he'd chanced upon Levi half-conscious and lying in a pool of his own blood, he had wordlessly taken him in, dragging his limp body all the way from the outskirts of Wall Rose all the way back to his own quarters. Levi had put up a fight when he had first woken up. He had punched and kicked and nearly broken all of Erwin's ribs - but even he, at that point in time, was no match for the feared Commander Erwin. Others would often say that he was a brilliant man for being able to "tame" Levi, but Erwin knows that Levi could never be subdued. He is not one to be content with a collar placed onto him - he is one who respects, and follows orders only because of that very respect.

The bleeding had gotten seriously out of hand, and had now soaked nearly half of his cloak and uniform - Levi would be so angry with him for being so dirty when he got back _(if he got back)._

_I am glad I came to know you._

The first time Levi had willingly talked to Erwin about his past was after Erwin had taken a painful outlash from his superior for defending Levi's actions in an important mission outside of the walls. Levi had disobeyed orders from the higher-ups, taking the liberty to direct his squad on a different path from the one they had originally planned. Although it eventually managed to save some lives, the losses they had incurred in terms of weaponry and limited carted goods was enormous. Erwin had let him do what he wanted, because he trusted him - and in his eyes, the final outcome of saving even a few innocent lives, was very worth it. After Erwin had walked (limped) all the way from the interrogation rooms, rather admirably after having suffered twenty strokes of the higher-ups sharp whip, Levi had been waiting in his quarters, disinfectant and cloth readied.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into when you allowed me to do what I did back there."

"Yes. I still do think I made the right choice."

Wordlessly, Levi had tended to his wounds while he laid on the bed. What wasn't expressed in words was perhaps subtly conveyed through the gentleness of his fingers and the way he would sometimes even looked pained while applying the stinging liquid to his bigger wounds. And then he began talking.

"I used to kill people and steal things only because it was the only way to survive, you know."

"And the world doesn't forgive anyone, if that's one thing I've learnt from all these years. No one bothers to look at you beyond how you appear on the surface. Not that I've got a problem with being termed a fucking thief."

"I do, though."

"What?"

"I know there's a lot more to you than it looks. Not every thief comes and kills three abnormals on their first trip out of the walls. I think you need to give yourself more credit, Levi."

The constant rhythm of horse-riding had settled him into a dazed state, and he could almost feel himself slipping into darkness - _just a little bit longer._

_I am glad I trusted you._

"You know what they're calling you out there? Humanity's Strongest Soldier, they say, to be feared and revered at all costs."

"All that talk's just bullshit. I don't care for fancy titles."

"But don't you feel the slightest honor, at least, at being respected by so many people in the Scouting Legion? Even I, Levi, do respect you, you know."

"What's a Commander to do, being all formal and respectful to his subordinate?"

"But it's more than that, you see, Levi. I trust you with all my heart and soul. And it's your job to take on the role of the hero, someone that people can look up to and think - I want to be like this person someday, someone that can move the hearts of those who might originally not have had the courage to do anything. You are what the people need and have longed for."

"Me, a hero?"

"Whether you believe it or not, Levi, you're becoming precisely that - for the people, for the scouting legions. For _me._"

It was just a matter of minutes now, he knew, before he would lose grasp of his consciousness completely. _What if it's too late-_

_I am glad I loved you._

Their first kiss was unplanned, but it came as earthshakingly as a lightning strike and a thunder's roar. It was, perhaps, just another normal day in the Scouting Legion - Erwin had just came back from a particularly long expedition out of the walls without Levi and was settling the mountain of paperwork that seemed to increase by the day, and Levi was simply by his side watching over him. As always. Hanji always teased Levi for having a "possessive streak" towards him, but really, he just needed to know that Erwin was right here, right in this moment - _safe._

And yet, it was, perhaps, a slightly peculiar day in the Scouting Legion, because this time Levi decided that watching was not enough. He walked up to Erwin's table, decisively slamming his fist down onto his paperwork and bending down to plant his lips firmly on Erwin's. And as they parted, a whisper, _"I missed you."_

And with that, it seemed as if something in Erwin had been broken. Their first kiss was swift and soft, and their second was anything but. Erwin pulled Levi towards him again, lips colliding and searching, searching, searching for solid ground, for an escape to the painful reality they lived in, for some way to be sure that they would always have each other.

Erwin lingers on this memory for awhile, remembering the next morning when Levi was safely, surely, tucked into his embrace and soft asleep. Remembering the moment when he realized that nothing could ever be more precious to him than this. He's losing track, losing track of things fast and tries to use up the last of his strength to recall that incident, perhaps the last thing that he would ever think of-

_I am glad I had you._

"Levi, let's get married."

There was a long silence that stretched out between them after that, as Erwin studied Levi's contorting facial expressions. He thought them endearing, he remembers, the way Levi's face had lapsed into a moment of pure shock at first, and the way it then softened to subtle kind of happiness that only he could recognise.

Their subsequent "wedding ceremony" was no big affair. In fact, it wasn't really an affair at all. Erwin had prepared a ring, a family heirloom that was supposed to be passed on to his future wife, and brought it to Levi the day before their next expedition Levi looked nothing like the bride his mother would have expected nothing like the bride Erwin himself would've ever dreamed to have. And yet it was difficult to describe how Erwin felt like all the pieces of his broken life could fall right back into place when Levi spoke to him, how he felt like every inch of himself was on fire when Levi touched him. And in that moment the ring found its rightful place on Levi's finger, he had shone brighter than any star above in the night sky.

_"You are mine, as I will always be yours."_

And as Erwin felt himself letting go for the last time, he willed his thoughts to reach his lover miles away-

_Thank you for coming into my life, thank you for helping me to believe again, that there is hope for this world, hope for me. Thank you for being by my side all these years and being my morning star, and please, if nothing else, just know that, you will always, always be my_

_**beloved.**_

* * *

**a/n.** I had originally started work on this after devastating chapter 50 was released, but I only finished it now. I left it as that, might consider making this a two-shot instead if I can muster up enough words to write about how Levi had found Erwin in the mess that he was - armless and all, but that would take time. And more emotional stability, perhaps, because this ship is giving me too many feels. I hope you enjoyed this little fic, and that I hadn't lost the essence of these two brilliant characters somehow while trying to put my thoughts and feelings about their relationship into words. Thank you for your time, my dear readers.


End file.
